My Mother’s Story
My mother’s love story began when she was just a young girl, around 13 or 14 years old. She met my father during a tumultuous time in Laos, amid the chaos of war. They discovered a deep love for each other, and my father, a young soldier, promised to marry her upon his return from the battlefield. Before leaving, he gave her his watch, a token of his promise to come back.
Shortly after he left, my mother found out she was pregnant with his child. She tried to hide her pregnancy, hoping for his return, but her growing belly soon betrayed her secret. Her family was furious and kicked her out, but she begged to stay, waiting for my father’s return. Unfortunately, news came that he had been killed in action, stepping on a mine. This news devastated my mother, who sank into deep depression.
Without my father’s family believing her, and with her own family wanting her gone, she was forced to marry an older man with two wives. Her life became a daily struggle of abuse and cruelty. Pregnant and only 8 months along, she fled Laos, crossing the Mekong River into Thailand under the cover of night. During this perilous journey, she almost drowned but was saved by a mysterious force she believed to be my father.
In Thailand, she gave birth to me, her baby girl. We later emigrated to the US, where she reunited with her family. My mother never remarried, always afraid that a new husband might harm me. I grew up knowing my father only through her stories, cherishing the love she gave me.
My Story
I fell in love when I was just thirteen, in the 8th grade, during the Hmong New Year in Fresno, CA. I met ‘K’, a 6th grader, and was instantly smitten. Despite my usual shyness, I gathered the courage to talk to her, and we tossed balls together, marking the beginning of our young love. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses, and our relationship blossomed through weekly letters filled with sweet words and fragrance.
Years passed, and despite the distance, we maintained our connection. However, one day her letters stopped. I was heartbroken and confused, only to learn later that she had moved to my city and met someone else. Our paths crossed again during my junior year in high school, rekindling our relationship briefly before life took us in different directions.
During college, I met ‘K’ again. We reconnected, but our reunion was short-lived as my family disapproved of her. I faced immense pressure to break up with her, leading me to seek solace elsewhere. I met another woman, Pajtshiab, who seemed to fill the void left by ‘K’.
Despite my love for ‘K’, my family’s disapproval and the allure of a new relationship led me to marry Pajtshiab. Our marriage, however, was fraught with challenges. We were physically attracted to each other, but our union lacked the deep emotional connection I had with ‘K’. Over time, our relationship deteriorated, marked by arguments, infidelity, and eventual separation.
Lessons in Love and Life
Through these experiences, I learned the true meaning of love, patience, and forgiveness. Despite the pain and heartbreak, I emerged stronger and wiser. My journey taught me that love is not about possession or physical attraction but about deep emotional connection, respect, and understanding.
I now cherish the love and wisdom my mother instilled in me. Her resilience and unconditional love continue to inspire me. Though my journey was filled with ups and downs, I hold on to the hope that true love, one that endures all trials, awaits me.
Reflection
As I look back, I realize that my first love, ‘K’, and my tumultuous marriage with Pajtshiab taught me invaluable lessons about life and love. Despite the heartache, I am grateful for these experiences. They shaped me into a better person, one who understands the depths of love and the importance of patience and forgiveness.
I hold no grudges against those who hurt me, for they were part of my journey. I continue to believe in the power of love and look forward to a future where I can share this love with someone who truly understands and cherishes me.